My old life has gone,

My old life has gone,

I don't know what I believe anymore.

I was supposed to write this book.

but I don't know if I believe.

That chapter as gone.

and it is no more,

Its completely closed off

Right down to the core.

Nick has completely gone,

not a thought in my mind anymore.

I don't care about him

in any way shape or form.

He left us to fend for ourselves

With nothing at all,

taking everything from us,

And never even helped.

He can do what he likes,

cause it will all come back on him.

so why bother holding any unforgiveness in my heart,

as i don't want him to be a thought.

I came here to start a fresh,

to start my life all over again.

I was open for anything at all,

and knew the whole world was open.

My old life was gone,

and I wanted a new,

so I embarrassed my new life,

with arms open wide.

I met a man name griffin,

and I loved him at once,

There was something special about him

but i didn't really know why.

We connected on a level,

I didn't know was possible,

and he treated me like someone special,

like i always dreamed of.

We had the best time together,

and talked all the time,

We went on many dates,

and made love all the time.

I thought what we had was amazing,

not toxic at all,

just pure love and intimacy,

like id never known before.

I thought this was it,

My love story had arrived,

It was my turn for true love

As life seemed devine.

I thought we was meant to be,

A match made in heaven,

He was everything to me

I thought he was my person.

But then one day,

Just out of the blue,

He told me he didn't want me anymore,

And my heart just broke in two.

I don't know what happened

Or why he didn't wanted me,

As I thought we was amazing

World series kind of thing.

Apparently he didn't love me,

like I had thought,

And he didn't feel the same way as me,

Which broke my heart.

I don't understand what happened,

As I thought we was in love,

I thought we had something so special,

That we just couldn't be apart.

I found out he gave me an STD.

But he didnt care one bit,

He never ever explained,

Or even said sorry.

He blocked me from everything,

And wanted nothing more to do with me,

This was the icing on the cake for me,

As I finally cracked.

It's made me feel disgusting,

And so ashamed,

I don't know what I did to deserve this,

And why he played these games.

I don't know what to do now,

As I walk around in a fog,

So lost, alone and broken,

I can't seem to get over him,

I cry for him each day,

Because i miss him so much,

I want him so bad it hurts,

I wish he would stay.

Why doesn't he love me?

What did i do so wrong?

Why did he see me as a nothing?

That he just chucked me away.

I love him with all my heart,

And I don't know why.

I wouldn't have thought he'd be my type,

But  hes just my kind of guy.

He's everything I didn't know I needed,

He brought out the best in me,

He challenged me to think,

So differently.

I can't seem to forget him,

I don't think I can,

It was the best relationship I've ever had,

When he was around.

I think he was cheating,

And seeing other people,

Which hurts me so bad,

But i;d like to know for sure.

I believed he was brought to me for a reason,

I thought it was meant to be,

I thought he was my destiny,

And we'll never be apart.

I got lost in a fairytale,

Of love at first site.

But I guess I was in a fantasy,

All on my own.

He obviously never loved me

And didn't even care,

He never really wanted me,

Or our love that was so rear.

He tossed me away

Like I didnt even matter,

He completely cut me off

And never spoke to me again.

That really hurt,

And made me feel so bad,

Whats wrong with me?

For him to throw me away.

I don't know who I am,

Or what's even good about me,

I feel like im a piece of crap,

Who doesn't deserve love.

I want to let him go,

But something keeps me holding on,

I dream about this man,

All of the time.

He's in my dreams at night,

And everything reminds me of him,

I love him so much

I wish I knew why,